Druggies & Drunkies

I do not drink, smoke or do drugs. I never will do these “recreational” activities. I have no need to. I knew when I was a little demon seed that I would not be a drug addict, an alcoholic or a chain smoker. I have kept my word for 25 years now. I am not risking my health just to be too cool for school (Zoolander reference FTW!). Smoking, well, all I have to say about that is, they are really changing things. You to travel to Pluto to smoke cigarettes now. Cigarettes cost $65,000 a carton nowadays. They also have electronic cigarettes (these seem cool). The thing that is funny about smoking, drugs and alcohol is that people know the health risks. “Dude, I know…I know I can get lung cancer. Shut up! I want to age in dog years, have doo doo brown teeth and sound like a  robot. We all die, at least I will die happy! yuck yuck!”

You know you will get cancer. Cancer sticks, go ahead and have them. You want fucking cancer, be my guest. Many people do not know what is in a cigarette. You are smoking rat poison, cyanide and other delicious shit. You want to smoke roach particles? You sure do! Enough about smoking. Let’s get to the real deal like Evandar Holyfield. Drugs! We all want to be weak human beings! I cannot for the life of me understand why people do drugs. I sort of understand alcohol but come on, drugs? Rock concerts, motherfucking Kid Rock is saying shit like this “Let me hear you scream if you drop acid. Let me hear you scream if you smoke bud. Let me hear you scream if you inject heroin. Let me hear you scream if you sniff cocaine.” What did the crowd do? They screamed like Jamie Lee Curtis did in Halloween and Halloween II.

Fucking imbeciles. It is cool to be a druggie. Crystal meth is some scary shit. I use to live in Hawaii and they call it ice there. Goons were hooked on this shit. It is highly accessible. Crystal meth has to be the worst drug of them all. You want to be a zombie from Resident Evil? Do meth. If you want to be an extra in the next “28 Days Later” sequel, do some meth. This shit will destroy you. I saw a mugshot of this woman. She looked like Jessica Alba on one side and the other side she looked like the crypt keeper. She was having tales from the crypt alright. The funny cigarettes (marijuana) and the looney blunts. I don’t have a problem with people that smoke reefer. Marijuana is sort of harmless. Would I do it? Fuck no. I don’t care how Bob Marley you get, marijuana is still a drug.

A drug is a substance you take that makes you act differently. I like to be sober and act like myself. Alcohol, I hear this shit all the time and I am sick of hearing it. “I drink alcohol to loosen up. When I am sober, I am a dork. When I am plum drunk, I am a playboy. I talk up a storm.” So, you have to drink bottles of piss to act a certain way? Interesting notion. Many drunkies do this. They get drunk to act like a different person. Women that drink…Alcohol is women’s Viagra. Get a woman drunk, she is going to fuck you. I don’t know what it is about alcohol and women. You see the “Girls Gone Wild” bullshit and the women are drunk as shit. I believe if a man has to get a woman drunk to fuck her, he is cheating. You are a freaking fucking cheater, Sir. If she was sober, she would have told you to hit the bricks.

Goobers get so wasted that they have to drive home on their own. They are completely aware of their surroundings. You are drunk, dumb ass. You are an intoxicated toxic avenger. All of your inhibitions are non-existent. You are screwed. Drunkies should hire a designated driver or better yet, hire a keymaster. Keymaster? Have some douchebag carry a bag around and have people drop their car keys in it. If they are wasted, they cannot drive home unless you let them. I am so damn intelligent. I need a Nobel peace prize. I am waiting for my million dollars…Waiting. Fuck it! I get a lot of flack because I do not do any of this shit. I have been called sheltered, boring, loser, a Dexter, and a fairy. You drink that bottle of piss, you smoke poison ivy and sniff powdered sugar all you want.

This guy, this guy is not doing that dumb ass shit. People have made their decisions that drugs and alcohol are needed to have a great time. I can name 25 things you could do that are better. People in America are proud to be party animals, druggies and drunkies. Someone told me the other day that America is not the “land of the free”. They said America is the land of the party animals. All we do is party. Life is a big ass rollercoaster. You have to have a thrill. I try to be a counselor for people to go sober. “I was sober for 5 minutes and it just doesn’t feel right, I am back to being a crack whore!” You are pathetic. I wish people would realize what they are doing to themselves.

More teenagers die from drunk diving and alcohol related deaths in America. That tells you something. Let me tell you this, the prison population, i bet you that half of the people in there are in there because of marijuana. That is something I do not agree with. Drugs are bad (duh!) but going to jail or prison because someone sucked a dick for some coke, I disagree. The prisons would not be as populated if the law would go after the real criminals. Child rapists or heroin addicts? Heroin addicts are let back into society. Alright, I am done with this rant. Nancy Reagan is my grandmother and she told me to say this. Drugs? Just say NO!

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